Nice going, Pothead
by Willowbooks
Summary: COMPLETE Harry & Draco get stuck in a closet. All dialogue. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Harry & Draco aren't mine. Just the "plot".

Rating: M, just in case.

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Warnings: Fluff, slash, swearing.

Summary: Draco and Harry get locked in a closet.

O-O-O-O-O

"Nice going, Pothead!"

"_Me_? What did _I _do?"

"You got us locked in here, that's what."

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Malfoy, it was _your _stupid prank that went wrong."

"It was not stupid!"

"You baited me with Peeves, Malfoy. _Peeves._ As if I give a damn about him."

"At least it worked."

"No, it didn't."

"Yes, it did! You're in here now, aren't you? Locked in and all!"

"Notice the fact that _you're_ in here, too. 'Locked in and all'."

"One minor mistake, I'll admit. But that was prioritarily Crabbe and Goyle's fault. What the hell were they doing, anyway?"

"Not entirely sure. I saw Crabbe's hand up Parkinson's skirt. Goyle must've been keeping watch."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Not on me, you don't."

"As if, Potter. I wouldn't give you the _honour _of having first class Malfoy puke on you. I'd rather use this bucket, here."

"I'd put that down if I were you."

"And why's that, Potter? Afraid of the little bucket, are we?"

"I'm just advising you."

"Woo! Look at the evil little bucket! It's gonna eat you! WOOH!"

"MALFOY!"

"_What?_"

"I'd take that bucket off your head if I were you."

"Why's that, Potter?"

"Because that's the bucket Filch uses to clean the toilets. And judging by the smell, I'd say he hasn't washed it since he last used it."

"OH MY GOD!"

"I'd rather you didn't throw it at me."

"MY HAIR! MY FANTASTIC GORGEOUS HAIR! RUINED!"

"Would you calm down?"

"I'M GOING TO SUE THAT MAN FOR ALL HE'S WORTH! DADDY WOULD NEVER –"

"Daddy?"

"Didn't mean to say that."

"Oh _really?_"

"…"

"Never had you pegged as the 'Daddy' kind there, Malfoy."

"Shut up."

"Getting to you now, am I?"

"Of course not, Potter."

"Well, I think I am."

"Well, I think you're not."

"How old are you, Malfoy?"

"Y'wot?"

"Very elegant. I asked you how old you are."

"Older thar you, that's for sure."

"When's your birthday?"

"30th October, only the best."

"HAH! I'M OLDER THAN YOU!"

"What!"

"My birthday's in June, sucker!"

"Damn. Why did you want to know, anyway?"

"Because you were acting like you were three. My _God._ I'm older than the infamous Draco Malfoy. This is brilliant."

"Nice day, isn't it?"

"Are you trying to take the focus off the fact that I'm older than you?"

"_No,_ Potter."

"I think you are."

"I think I'm not."

"I think you are."

"I think I'm not"

"You know, for someone who's so determined to win, you're a very sore loser."

"Shut _up, _Potter."

"Whatever, Malfoy."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Nice day, though, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't know. It's so damn _dark_ in here."

"Was that a _jibe _at me, Potter?"

"So what if it was?"

"Well, if it was, it was a bit pathetic."

"Better than anything _you've _come up with."

"I resent that."

"You're so…"

"I'm so _what_, Potter?"

"Ugh, forget it."

"Too perfect for words, is it?"

"No. More that there isn't a word that describes your... foulness accurately enough."

"Bah."

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"Really _is _a nice day, though, isn't it?"

"_What_ is your fixation with today, Malfoy?"

"Think about it."

"…"

"Well?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"And?"

"I got nothing."

"Oh, come _on, _Potter. Even _you _can't possibly be _that _dim."

"…"

"Still nothing?"

"Nope."

"Okay. What day are we today?"

"Um.. Tuesday."

"What _date_?"

"30th of Oct… Ohhh."

"Yes, _ohhh._"

"Well, what do I care?"

"It's called being polite, Potter. Didn't your parents ever teach you manners?"

"…"

"_Woops."_

"You're a dick."

"I'm sorry."

"You really are _such _a dick."

"Look, I _forgot, _alright?"

"Easy for some people to forget."

"I'm _sorry_!"

"And we were getting on so well."

"I know! Shameful."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I meant the fact that we were getting along."

"I know what you meant, Malfoy."

"Do you? Because I don't think you do."

"Shut _up_, Malfoy."

"Now, then. That's not very nice."

"Do I care?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

"No."

"I thought you'd say that."

"…"

"…"

"I'm cold."

"Me too."

O-O-O-O-O

A bit odd, I know. I'm totally inspired though. I think I'm gonn do a chapter 2 straight way! D

xx


	2. Chapter 2

"_I'm cold."_

"_Me too."_

"Now, you see, I would offer you my cloak…"

"But..?"

"I won't."

"Oh. Nice."

"Yeah, I thought so."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So how are you?"

"_Excuse _me, Malfoy?"

"I asked how you were. You really are quite rude, you know."

"You're not worth my manners. Why do you care how I am, anyway?"

"Look. We're gonna be stuck in here for _God_ knows how long. Personally, I refuse to sit in silence."

"Well, I don't."

"You're insufferable."

"Love you too, Malfoy."

"_WHAT!"_

"I said, 'Love you too, Malfoy'. It's called _sarcasm._"

"Oh."

"…"

"_Ohhh."_

"There ya go."

"Right."

"You didn't actually take me seriously, did you?"

"…"

"…Malfoy?"

"…"

"Oh my God."

"I'd stop that train of thought _right there_, Potter."

"…"

"Stop laughing hysterically."

"…"

"Potter, you're scaring me."

"…"

"I said _stop_!"

"…I'm sorry."

"Stop wheezing."

"Can't help it. It happens when you laugh hysterically for too long."

"Then don't."

"But it's so _funny_!"

"Don't start."

"Oh, come on. Think about it. _Me _loving _you_?"

"I guess.."

"Are you _hurt_, Malfoy?"

"…"

"Are you actually _offended _that Harry Potter does not love you?"

"Stop it."

"Ha!"

"Not again."

"…"

"That's it. If you start choking, I am _not _saving you."

"…"

"And if you fall on me, I'll pour bleach in your ear."

"…"

"I hate you."

"I'm not falling for that one again. You may love me, but I tell you, the feeling is _not _mutual."

"Good to know."

"…"

"…"

"OW! What was that for?"

"Because you're the Golden Boy, and I hate you."

"Hmph."

"What?"

"Mood-killer."

"Heh."

"That really hurt, you know."

"Oh, _dear._"

"Bastard."

"Yeah, I know."

"…"

"…"

"What time is it?"

"Too poor to own a watch, Potter?"

"…"

"Oh, alright. It's about midnight."

"Hm."

"Well, one minute to."

"So tomorrow it's the…?"

"We've been through this, Potter. Today is the…?"

"30th."

"So tomorrow is the…?"

"1st?"

"If you want to miss a day out of the year, yes."

"31st, then."

"Well _done_."

"Shut up."

"…"

"…"

"I'm bored."

"Yeah, me too."

"…"

"Happy Birthday."

O-O-O-O-O

And there's another. Keep you all going D.

I'll write some more, and post it if I get over 3 reviews. I don't ask for much.

xx


	3. Chapter 3

"_Happy Birthday."_

"…"

"You're welcome."

"…"

"Are you okay there, Malfoy?"

"…"

"Oy."

"…ow."

"Well then. Talk more of I'll hit you again. Talk about _manners_."

"Sorry. Momentarily incapacitated with shock."

"It's no like I confessed my love for you, or anything."

"Stop it with that."

"…"

"And stop smirking."

"Sorry."

"Anyway. I thought you 'didn't care', Potter."

"I don't."

"_Right._"

"What, exactly, are you implying, Malfoy?"

"Nothing, nothing…"

"I'm _warning _you."

"…"

"…"

"I hate you."

"I hate you too, Malfoy."

"I know."

"What time is it?"

"Around one."

"Ah. OK."

"Why? Do you have somewhere to _be, _Potter? Secret rendezvous with the Mud-"

"…"

"OW!"

"Yeah, I hope that hurt, Malfoy."

"It _did_!"

"Good, good."

"My God, I think I'm actually _bleeding_."

"Better not be on me."

"You're not worth my _crap_, let alone my blood, Potter."

"…"

"God, that _really_ hurt."

"…"

"What did you stab me with, anyway?"

"A steel kebab stick."

"Where the hell d'you get that?"

"Whole box of 'em, right here. Along with mannacles, chains and a collapsible stake."

"…Okay."

"The box is marked 'Punishment Tools'."

"…"

"No need to whimper, Malfoy. They'll be the ones Dumbledore doesn't allow."

"For once, I love that Muggle-loving fool."

"I'm sure you do, Malfoy."

"…"

"…"

"Draco."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Call me Draco. It's annoying to hear my last name all the time."

"…Fair enough."

"Thankyou, Potter."

"Hey, hang on. If I cave to call you… by your first name, you have to call me by mine."

"Fair enough."

"…"

"…"

"Time?"

"Pardon?"

"_Time_, Mal-_Draco_."

"No need to spit it out. It rolls off your tongue. Draaaaco. See? Draaaaaaco. Say it with me."

"Draaaacoooooooo…"

"No, no! Don't prolongue the 'o', it sounds almost orgasmic."

"…"

"Sorry, that was a little inappropriate."

"Just a bit."

"…"

"So what _is_ the time?"

"About half one."

"OK."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Harry."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to see if it rolls off your tongue."

"Can do, if you say it right."

"Harryyyy…"

"No, more 'Harrrrrrry'."

"Harrrrrrrry. Oh yeah."

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"Mhmm."

"…"

"…"

"That was a sigh if ever I heard one, Harrrrrrry."

"That's because I'm _really _bored, Draaaaaaaco."

"…"

"…"

"Let's play a game."

"Um… let me think about that."

"…"

"…"

"…Well?"

"No."

"Oh, come on, Potter! Let's have some fun!"

"Harry."

"Sorry. _Harry. _Don't be boring!"

"I'll be boring if I want to be boring."

"…"

"Deal with it."

"…"

"Stop _sighing_, Malfoy."

"…"

"Sorry, _Draco._ Stop it."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I'm hungry."

"Me too, Draco. Me too."

O-O-O-O-O

Woop de doo. right. What can I say? I'm gonna post another after this, then I'm gonna stop until I get more _reviews_, otherwise I'll have more chapters than reviews, and that would be sad (hint hint).

See you all way too soon.

xx


	4. Chapter 4

"_I'm hungry."_

"_Me too, Draco._ _Me too."_

"…"

"…"

"Got anything to eat?"

"I have a steel kebab stick."

"I am aware of that. I mean do you have anything to put _on _it?"

"Do I _look _like Crabbe or Goyle, Draco?"

"Uhm.. Is that a trick question?"

"I don't carry food around with me."

"Dammit."

"…"

"…"

"Why don't you Transfigure something with your wand?"

"Potter, if I had my wand, do you think I'd still be in here?"

"Harry. And good point."

"Your question was of such stupidity that I felt forced to revert back to your last name."

"I see."

"In fact, I almost called you Weasel."

"That was uncalled for."

"You have to admit, _Harry_, that sometimes he is a little…"

"A little _what_, Malfoy?"

"Draco."

"You're being such a _dick_ that I feel forced to revert back to your last name."

"Are you being _spiteful_, Potter?"

"…"

"Are you _mocking _me?"

"…"

"Even the _Mudblood _has been known to come up with wittier-OW!"

"Hah."

"STOP IT WITH THE BLOODY KEBAB STICK!"

"…"

"Stop smirking."

"…"

"STOP IT! YOU HAVE COPIED ME!"

"Get over yourself, Malfoy."

"Ha. Ha."

"How is that funny? I was being serious."

"I hate you, _Harry_."

"Hate you too."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Potter, why are you breathing so loud?"

"…"

"Potter, stop it."

"…"

"_Harry._"

"…"

"I am _warning _you."

"…Malfoy?"

"You're sounding a bit hoars there, Potter. Everything alright?"

"Malfoy, um… could you…"

"Could I _what_, Potter?"

"Could you.. move back a bit?"

"Where _to_, Potter? Do you seriously think that I enjoy having my hand on your.. eh.."

"…"

"Potter, what _part_ of you am I touching?"

"…"

"Well.. this is your.. ah, leg?"

"…"

"So this must be.. uhm…"

"…"

"Potter, did you just squeak?"

"…"

"ANSWER ME! What _part _of you am I touching?"

"…"

"POTTER!"

"Harry."

"HARRY!"

"Can't you figure it out, Malfoy?"

"Wh-oh, EW!"

"…Yeah."

"Oh my GOD! Oh God… ew… Oh _God!"_

"Malfoy, you'll start hyperventilating if you don't calm down."

"_GOD –_ No, I won't."

"Well, _now _you won't. You've gone into defensive mode."

"_What?"_

"Defensive mode."

"Oh, _really_? So what other 'modes' do I have, then?"

"Angry, bitchy or whiny, boring, evil, tired, moody and sexy."

"I do _not_ get bitchy! Wait - hang on. What was that last one?"

"Yeah, you _do _get bitchy."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Do not. And you're avoiding the question."

"What question?"

"…"

"Helloo? Malfoy? What question?"

"What was the last one of the 'modes' you said?"

"Um…moody?"

"No."

"Flexy?"

"That's not what you said."

"…"

"What the _hell _would 'flexy' mean, anyway?"

"…"

"Malfoy…"

"Draco. And what?"

"Stop… moving about."

"Huh?"

"Your hands. Unless you want to make the, ah, _problem _worse, stay still."

"Oh."

"…"

"_Ohhhh."_

"Once again, your intelligence and quick-thinking astounds me."

"I know it does."

"Watch out."

"What?"

"Your overlarge head might get wedged in here."

"…"

"Heh."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well, this is fun."

O-O-O-O-O

In case you don't get it, Malfoy said that last thing. I know some of these can be really confusing, so I try to slip in the names when I can, to remind you who's talking.

Ciao for now.

xxx


	5. Chapter 5

"…"

"_Well, this is fun."_

"Quite, Draco."

"…"

"…"

"I hate awkward pauses. Don't you, Harry?"

"I hate awkward and forced chat more."

"Touché, Harry."

"…"

"…"

"This is ridiculous."

"What is, Harry?"

"Everything."

"That made sense."

"I'm serious! Think about it: We fight _so_ much. Why?"

"Well, because… because you're Harry Potter."

"I know that, but some on, Draco. You know that's not a real reason. Why do you hate me?"

"Because, I mean.. I was brought up that way."

"So, basically.. You're a puppet, Draco."

"Huh?"

"You do whatever your father demands."

"No, I-"

"You think whatever ever he wants you to think."

"That's just _not _true, I –"

"You do whatever he wants you to do."

"_NO! _It's not _true!"_

"It is, Draco. Think about it."

"No, I.. I think for my self…"

"No, you don't. Your mind is a copy of your father's. Your opinion is warped. You're _brainwashed_."

"I'm _what _now?"

"Muggle expression. I mean it, though."

"B-but.."

"It's okay."

"I..I.. but.. _no_…"

"Take a deep breath. Come on now, breathe, Draco. _Breathe_."

"…"

"Are you.. Are you crying?"

"…no."

"Draco, it's okay to cry. I can hear you sniffling."

"..I'm not crying."

"Draco, come on. My hands are wet all of a sudden. And you can't tell me it's the toilet bucket."

"…"

"Was that a laugh?"

"…No."

"Suit yourself. But my hands _are_ wet."

"Then stop.. stop massaging my face."

"Fine."

"…"

"…"

"_Or_ my hair, Harry."

"Sorry, it's just so _soft_."

"I know. Touch your own hair."

"It's not as soft."

"Let me see."

"…"

"…It's very damp."

"That's a mop, Draco."

"Ah."

"Twit."

"I know…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You're sitting very close there, Harry. Wouldn't want a repeat of earlier."

"Sorry, I'll move back –"

"Where to?"

"Good point, Draco."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"This is insanely awkward."

"It _is_, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"…"

"…"

"You done the Potions essay, Harry?"

"The one on Calming Draughts?"

"Yeah."

"Yep. Hermione helped me."

"_All _the seven feet?"

"Seven and a half. Snape'll probably punish me for that."

"Heh, probably. How can you have done it already, though? We only got it yesterday."

"I did it this afternoon. 'Mione did it during lunch, ten minutes after it was assigned. She didn't even eat."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"…"

"So, have _you_ done it yet?"

"God, no. I'm always the one finishing it hurriedly in the library 5 minutes before class."

"Yeah, I know."

"You know?"

"I've seen you there."

"Oh."

"You look adorable when you're flustered."

"POTTER! Do you _mind_! A boy cannot call another boy _adorable_!"

"Homophobe."

"Poof."

"You're not very convincing."

"Fine, fine.."

"Fine what?"

"You've caught me."

"I have?"

"_Yes_, don't rub it in."

"…"

"I'm batting on the other side of the fence."

"Isn't that a little bit of a cliché?"

"_You know what I mean_."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I'm _gay_, alright!"

"Mhmm."

"…"

"Oh! I'm sorry, I should be more surprised."

"Yeah, you should."

"Sorry. But, well.. you're not really.. straight.. ahem. Straight-looking."

"Stop flinching, Po-Harry. I won't eat you. Unless we don't get out of here before lunch."

"I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Don't play the innocent. I've _seen _how you look at me sometimes."

"How?"

"Like you want to roast me, marinade me, garnish me and then eat me in one bite."

"You can't read a look, Potter?"

"_Why _are we back on surnames?"

"Tell me, what's it like to be blissfully oblivious?"

"It's rude to answer a question with a question, _Malfoy_."

"Or are you just really, _really _slow?"

"Whuh?"

"Slow it is, then. Maybe a little stupid, too."

"_Hey!_"

"Hi."

"Oh, for God's _sake_, Draco!"

"What have I done _now_?"

"Let's just.. move on, shall we?"

"_Fiiiiiiiine_."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What the hell did you mean when you said I'm not really 'straight-looking', anyway?"

"Well…"

"Well, _what_?"

"Hermione pointed it out to me. She said that you're definitely gay, even if you won't admit it."

"I don't need some bucktoothed Mudblood to determine my sexuality."

"Oy!"

"And neither do I need you! God dammit, Harry!"

"Draco… Calm down…"

"I _hate _you! I HATE YOU, DAMMIT!"

"Stop punching the door."

"But I _do_!"

"I know you do, Draco."

"But you don't _understand_! I hate you, and yet I've wanted to do _this_ –"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"- since I was _eleven years old_!"

"Malfoy…"

"No, I know, this is where you get ferociously angry –"

"Malfoy."

"-swing a punch at me –"

"Malfoy!"

"-I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you _did _–"

"Draco!"

"-then you reject me –"

"DRACO!"

"_What_?"

"More."

"Oh, um. Okay."

OoOoOoOoO

A/N: Sorry about the long, long wait, you guys. Okay, so it was a week. But I've had it on paper for ages. I'm just sinfully lazy. Nice to finally have it up, though. Anyway, let me know what you think. This wasn't easy to write. Took a _lot_ of maths classes. Their first kiss! ) I'm so proud.

Anyway, review, and I'll see you all soon.

xxxxxxx


	6. Chapter 6

"_More."_

"_Oh, um, Okay."_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Ow!"

"What is it, Draco?"

"What the hell did you just _do_, Potter?"

"Well..Um… Is that a trick question?"

"Did you just _bite_ my _lip_?"

"Eh…"

"I really don't know what passion is for _you_, Potter, but for me that's just pain."

"…"

"I think I'm bleeding."

"…"

"Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure I'm bleeding."

"…"

"I taste _blood_!"

"…"

"For Merlin's sake, it's like that damn kebab stick all over again!"

" …"

"God…_ow_…"

"You know you liked it."

"I _beg_ your pardon?"

"You heard."

"What the hell makes you think that I'd enjoy having a throbbing lip and blood dribbling down my chin?"

"Ever heard of mixing pain with pleasure, Malfoy?"

"Malfoy, Harry?"

"Draco."

"Thank you."

"Anyway. Pain. Mixed with pleasure. Heard of it?"

"W-well yes, but…"

"You're…you're not _nervous_, are you?"

"No…"

"Yeah you are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Let me get that."

"Get what, Potter?"

"That…right here…"

"Wha – eaahhh…"

"Mm, sorry. I just couldn't resist."

"Did.. did you just _lick_ my _mouth_, Potter?"

"I was cleaning up the blood."

"With your _tongue_?"

"Well, yeah."

"And what makes you think you have the right to salivate all over my mouth?"

"After what we just did about 3 minutes ago, I think I have the right to do pretty much anything involving my mouth and saliva."

"Y-you…what.. I… I-I don't know what you mean."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, Draco."

"Oh, God… Cliché… Need. To. Throw…something… at you… Aha!"

"Ow!"

"Hah!"

"I'll have a bruise now, Draco."

"Oh _dear_."

"…"

"…"

"You don't need to feel so uncomfortable about our… _relations_… that you have to throw things at me whenever the subject comes up."

"I'll hit you again."

"Wh-OW!"

"What now, Potter?"

"Mop fell on me."

"Ah."

"…"

"…"

"Excuse me, Draco!"

"What?"

"Do you mind not stroking…um…"

"What?"

"THAT!"

"Oh. OH, oh, GOD. I'm sorry, Potter. I thought it was the mop."

"…"

"…"

"…Why the hell were you stroking the mop, Draco?"

"I'd rather not answer that."

"Fine. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Okay, okay, Potter."

"Harry."

"Oh for _Merlin's_ – Harry, then."

"It's just my first name. No need to get your thong in a twist."

"Are you implying that I'm wearing a thong?"

"S'the truth."

"I am not wearing a thong!"

"Yes you are, Draco."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Yes you _are_, Draco! I felt it!"

"Wh-b-but that's just the drawstring on my trousers!"

"You're wearing jeans."

"No I'm not."

"Let me have a look, there."

"POTTER! Stop fondling my leg!"

"Oh, you like that, do you?"

"N-no! Don't… don't go higher…"

"Higher? Up..._here_, maybe?"

"POTTER! Th-that's not…appropriate…"

"I think you like it."

"N-no… I…Um…mmm…"

"Was that a groan, Draco?"

"M-may-maybe…"

"That's very hot, Draco."

"Yes, I know…"

"Don't gloat, Draco. It'll spoil the moment."

"Just the moment?"

"And my severe arousal."

"Hah."

"And yours."

"Touché, once again."

"So what shall we do, Draco?"

"We have two options, Harry."

"Which are?"

"Well we could keep talking, and probably argue again."

"Or?"

"This."

"Wh –"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I prefer option two."

"Me too, Harry."

A/N: Wehey! Sorry for the insanely slow updating. I actually had this chapter written down several months ago, but I went ahead and lost it, but then found it again just a few days ago. I have the kast chapter, too, which is the next one.  
Review?


	7. Chapter 7

" I prefer option two" 

"_Me too, Harry."_

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Mmm…"

"You like that, Draco?"

"Oh, _God_ yes."

"Good. I'll do it again."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Draco… you'd better not have done a hickey."

"Well, I…"

"_Draco_!"

"What?"

"It'd better be small."

"Ehm…"

"What? What is it?"

"There's more than one."

"Oh, _God_. How many?"

"Come here, let me count."

"…"

"…"

"_Draco_!"

"Sorry. It just tastes so good."

"Does that mean you've done _another_ one?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So how many have I got now?"

"Well, it's more of a _big patch_, really."

"You…"

"And some more little ones back here…"

"_Grr_!"

"Ooh. Do growl again."

"No."

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm mad at you, Draco."

"Oh, come on, Harry! Please!"

"No."

"What if I were to do… _this_?"

"Eh…um…mm…"

"_Now_ will you growl?"

"Oh, _fine_!"

"Yes! Growl for me!"

"Grr."

"Again!"

"_Grr_!"

"_Again_!"

"GRR!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Draco…"

"Yes_, say my name_, Harry…"

"No… Draco…"

"Again."

"_DRACO_!"

"Angry isn't erotic."

"That's because you won't listen to me!"

"What do you want? Look, I'm fully aware that you're a virgin, don't worry about it – "

"What – no!"

"What do you want, then?"

"I don't think we should do this right now."

"Whet the hell not?"

"For one thing, the bruises will be a bitch."

"Good point."

"And secondly… I think we should face the issue of getting out."

"How do you plan on doing that? The door's stuck."

"Well, I mean… we didn't really try it. Maybe we could unstuck it with some of this toxic crap Filch has in here."

"Yeah…"

"Maybe even pick the lock with a kebab stick- "

"I'm not letting you near that thing, Potter."

"Draco, I'm not going to stab you again."

"I don't trust you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Why the sudden sulk, Harry?"

"You don't… trust me?"

"Of course I do, Harry."

"You just said you don't."

"I said no such thing."

"Yes you did."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! Draco, I heard you!"

"Okay, well… maybe I _did_, but – "

"Nice to know where I stand."

"But I just meant with dangerous weapons!"

"Pff."

"It's true! Would you trust me with an axe if I'd already chopped off your arms with it?"

"That's hardly the same – "

"Would you trust me?"

"Well, no... but it's not – "

"Well there you are! That's all I meant, Harry."

"Fine, fine…"

"Now then. With your little 'tantrum' over – don't look at me like that, it was a tantrum and you know it – let's focus on getting out, yeah?"

"Fine. Now what are the options?"

"There's unsticking the door with the bleach, picking the lock with… something… or um, knocking it down by force."

"Nyeah…"

"…"

"…"

"Hey, d'you hear that?"

"What?"

"Come on, how can you not hear it, Draco?"

"Hear what?"

"Ssh. It's getting louder."

"What, that thumping noise?"

"Yeah. Must be people going to breakfast."

"Oh, God, Harry. I'm so hungry."

"I know, Draco. With luck, someone might open the door."

"Like who? And don't say Filch. I _really_ don't want to see Filch.."

"Well, he might, but I know that Hermione and Ron will be looking for me by now, so…"

"And they'd look in a closet?"

"They might."

"Hm."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Hey, Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do when we get out of here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know."

"What?"

"…"

"…"

"That."

"Oh, I see."

"So what are we going to do, Harry? Will this be the end?"

"No need to be so dramatic."

"But will it?"

"Well, we'll have to avoid going public."

"Embarrassed of me, Harry?"

"No, but your daddy wouldn't be happy."

"Fair point."

"So what will we do, Draco?"

"I don't know. I'm going to miss you."

"Me too."

"I'll miss this neck…"

"Nnnn…"

"This spot, just behind your ear…"

"Hmmm…"

"This nose…"

"Hehe."

"Don't giggle."

"Sorry, Draco."

"Hm… but most of all…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to miss these _lips_…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Draco…"

"Not again."

"Draco, it's gone quiet."

"What?"

"Outside. It's gone quiet."

"You mean…"

"We've missed them, Draco. Our chance is gone."

"Yeah."

"Dammit. Would've thought they would have heard your moaning, Harry."

"Oh, shut up. You were making just as much noise."

"So now what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Draco. Smash the door in?"

"Worth a shot."

"…"

"…"

"Wait. Stop a second."

"…"

"_Draco_! Stop!"

"What?"

"Look at the way the door moves when you hit it."

"What about it?"

"Draco… I… I don't th-think it's locked."

"What!"

"Try the handle."

"You've got to be _kidding_ me, Harry."

"Just try it."

"_Fine_ –"

"Oh,God."

"Shit!"

"Well said, Draco."

"Harry? Malfoy?"

"_Hermione_!"

"_Granger_!"

"What were you… uh… doing in there?"

"THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW!"

"Ron! Calm down! Me and Draco weren't doing anything."

"_Draco_! _Draco_, is it?"

"RON!"

"Hermione, surely you don't think me and Drac – Malfoy weren't doing anything?"

"We heard you, Harry."

"H-how much?"

"The last half an hour, since you started, um… moaning."

"Shit, Granger. Why the hell didn't you let us out?"

"You appeared to be enjoying yourselves."

"Can't deny that, can we, Potter?"

"Draco, my name is Harry."

"Fine, Harry _darling_?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"Weasel's fainted."

"I'm going to go and take him up to hospital wing. Harry, Draco: I'm happy for you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So much for avoiding going public, eh, Harry?"

"Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

**The End**

0o0o0o0o0o0

A/N: Well, it's been fun, and I'm all sad now. You try typing the end of your favourite fic up while listening to some VERY mellow Jack Johnson.

I hope you guys understood the end.. it's all very complicated. If you didn't get it, just let me know.

xxx


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